{"product_id":"alien-abduction-dachshund-style-t-shirt","title":"Alien Abduction Dachshund T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAlien Abduction in Progress… Should've Brought a Dachshund-Sized Beam\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey came from across the galaxy. They had the technology. They had the ship. They had the beam.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat they didn't have was a beam wide enough for a dachshund who had fully committed to her sprawl position.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe wasn't scared. She wasn't impressed. She looked up, assessed the situation, and went back to ignoring them. The aliens regrouped. Reconsidered. Left.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome dogs cannot be abducted. Some dogs \u003cem\u003eare\u003c\/em\u003e the threat.This garment-dyed tee brings playful sci-fi humor to everyday wear. The soft, broken-in fabric and relaxed fit feel like an old favorite from the first wear, while the printed scene — a UFO beaming up a dachshund with the caption “Alien Abduction In Progress — Should’ve Brought A Dachshund-Sized Beam” — sparks smiles and conversation. It sits comfortably for long days out running errands, lounging at home, or heading to a low-key planetarium meetup. The muted, vintage-y color from the post-dye process gives the art a lived-in look that pairs especially well with faded jeans, canvas sneakers, and a laid-back attitude. Designed for folks who love quirky animal humor and retro sci-fi vibes, this tee blends durable construction with soft texture so it stays wearable and fun through many washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun US cotton for long-lasting, soft comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Garment-dyed fabric for a vintage, lived-in color and texture\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Heavyweight 6.1 oz fabric with relaxed fit and pre-shrunk construction\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching and tubular (no side seams) knit for durability and clean look\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Size range S–4XL (select partners) with sewn-in label; available in 58 colors\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47811535405219,"sku":"22351587873560048838","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":47811535437987,"sku":"17563678428020780407","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ S","offer_id":47811535470755,"sku":"31368096011817193442","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":47811535503523,"sku":"21125799908116409196","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":47811535536291,"sku":"62441216933604280243","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":47811535569059,"sku":"33000383759649943337","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 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