{"product_id":"dachshund-division-t-shirt-earth-defense-force","title":"Dachshund Division T‑Shirt — \"Earth Defense Force\"","description":"\u003cp\u003eEarth's last line of defense is 8 inches tall and extremely motivated.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen the invasion came, humanity turned to its greatest weapon: the dachshund. Fearless. Ferocious. Suspiciously good at detecting threats (and also squirrels). The Dachshund Division has been protecting this planet since long before you knew you needed them — and they will continue to do so, whether you like it or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe doesn't ask for recognition. She doesn't need a thank you. She just needs her patrol route respected and dinner on time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eConsider yourself protected.Soft, weathered, and made to wear in — this garment-dyed tee brings a playful, adventurous spirit to everyday life. A compact chest emblem and a bold back illustration combine vintage poster vibes with quirky dog-loving humor. The heavyweight cotton and relaxed cut settle in comfortably after the first wash, while the muted, lived-in color from garment dyeing gives the shirt a familiar, broken-in feel that’s easy to reach for on weekend hikes, dog-park mornings, or casual evenings around a firepit. It reads like the badge of a small, loyal crew: a nod to dachshund devotion wrapped in retro sci-fi energy, ready to tag along on road trips, meetups, and low-key gatherings.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun US cotton for durable comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Garment-dyed fabric for soft, lived-in color and texture\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Heavyweight 6.1 oz cotton with relaxed fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching and tubular knit (no side seams) for durability\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sizes S–4XL with pre-shrunk fabric and sewn-in label\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not 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